![]() I’ve asked my husband to try to grab my hands instead if he really needs to grab something. I don’t do well at all if my husband grabs my head. It helps me to know I’m in control of the depth of any thrusting. Perseverance and commitment go a long way here. Of course, that also meant that we more frequently got to a point where my husband couldn’t help but thrust, and then my gag reflex would kick in again the important thing, I think, was that I would give myself a moment to recover and then get right back to it. The more I did it, the longer I could go. I’d use different positions for my body and different angles for my head. Once I dedicated myself to getting really comfortable with it, I just kept trying. Also, the only way to get better at oral sex is to just keep doing it. One woman wrote to say that she practiced using a popsicle stick to help her develop some control over the gag reflex. Oral sex for the purpose of arousal may work nicely in a position that doesn’t work well for thrusting that accompanies his orgasm. Also, remember that you don’t need to use the same position the entire time. Try different positions until you find something that does a better job of keeping your gag reflex at bay. What works well for one woman may not work well for you in fact, what worked well for us in our late 20’s doesn’t work well for us as we approach 50. Another woman has said that she does best if she lies on her back with her head hanging off the edge of the bed while her husband stands next to the bed. The angle of your husband’s erection, your height, your health (such as my constant sinus problems and arthritic knees), and your comfort all matter. Kathleen commented, “I can tell newbies that it is WAY easier to give fellatio in the 69 style! Trying to do it kneeling in front of him is a gag, literally for me!” Remember, though, that you are dealing with two unique bodies. Several women have written to say that the 69 position works well, so that is definitely worth a try. ![]() (Some have been tested by me, and others are things I haven’t gotten around to trying yet.) Here are some suggestions you can try to work through your own gag reflex. I have a strong gag reflex, so this issue is near and dear to me. ![]() Since I mentioned that I would be doing this in an upcoming post, I’ve received so many emails and comments about one particular challenge that I’ve decided to focus on just that one for today-the gag reflex. I intended to write a post about strategies for addressing a multitude of challenges women face in giving their husbands oral sex. It is my belief that oral sex can be a blessing in a Christian marriage bed. ![]() As I mentioned at the beginning of that post, please read no further if you are uncomfortable reading about oral sex. This is a follow-up to my Oral Blessings post. ![]()
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